Finding nirvana in the fog with Molly and Kurt.

Early morning coffee with Kurt Cobain, always a good way to start the day. I'm a huge Nirvana fan. My favorite song is probably "Molly" which is actually a Bill Monroe song. A lot of people don't know that Cobain was actually a pretty big bluegrass fan. Maybe that's why I dig Cobain so much. Being from Southwestern Virginia, the birthplace of bluegrass, I guess it's in my blood. 

Well, it's starting to get light and I don't think the fog is ever going to lift. It's been heavy for the last week, all day every day. Even the crows are tired of it. I think they've migrated to brighter skies. I haven't caught a glimpse of their cumbersome bodies in days. Unfortunately outside rec is canceled whenever there is fog so needless to say we haven't been outdoors in over a week. Crazy how I'm actually missing the rec yard. The yard here is one of the bigger yards in the system. It's divided into three sections and two weight piles. I spend most of my time on the pile. In the warmer months I run a lot. Anywhere from two to four miles a day. With so much fog lately it's been all weights and sit ups.

The outer perimeter fence is 18' high topped with razor wire. There are two guard towers around 50' high equipped with spotlights, rifles with rubber bullets, tear gas, and stun grenades. On the sidewalk or "boulevard" as we call it there are usually two to four attack dogs. It's crazy what one can become accustomed to and think of as normal. Not only are we caged and treated like animals but it feels like we are on exhibit as well. I have a huge amount of empathy for zoo animals. No privacy and people are always gazing in at them. Wasn't Shamu freed? Huh, I wish I were a killer whale...

I'm sure you are probably under the misconception that prisoners work out all day and get in shape. That's far from the truth. Of course there is always a group of us that workout come hell or high water but believe it or not most of the population is like the American population - overweight, lazy and with a total lack of any ambition. They would rather lay around watching TV than actually doing anything productive with their lives. They're happy with what they have and where they are and don't have enough foresight to think of tomorrow. Like a lot of the general population they are perfectly content with government taking care of them the rest of their lives. All I do is think of tomorrow, what career I want and how my short term agenda can help accomplish my long term goals. I try to decide where I will live, whether to build buy or rent and what i can do now to better myself for my future. The latter objective has proven to be the most difficult. Over the last few months I've written at least 40 colleges across the country asking for any help or assistance thcy offer for furthering my education - no replies. I'll be damned if I have to live off the government. I will find a career and support myself. After all, industriousness and self-reliance are a couple of the nine virtues I live by.

Over the years I've completed a lot of programs including masonry, electricity, motorcycle repair, HVAC, computer assisted drafting and computer introduction. The CAD class was by far the hardest for me. I'm a technological Neanderthal for starters and my experience with computers has been limited to say the least. With some extra help and patience from my instructor i was finally able to stop draggin my hairy knuckles on the ground and shoot, by the end of the term I had quit slapping the computer every time it refused to obey my commands. I think my favorite phrase while in that class was "stupid computer".

When I'm home I've very outdoorsy. I enjoy fishing, boating and hiking. Believe it or not I've never actually seen my own FB page, Blog or Twitter page. I just never had time and actually didn't have one until recently. I'm just lucky enough to have a friend that wants to help me connect and ready myself for the world by giving me some kind of social foundation. 

Thank goodness for friends. It seems true friends are the hardest to find in here as well as out there. Most of the people that I live with can't be trusted and are fake friends to say the least. In my life one minute, gone the next. There are anomalies to this rule. A few good hearted no nonsense guys that are actually good people that just made bad choices. I like to think of myself as one of the latter. 

Just goes to show you that you really can't judge a book by its cover...  

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